Paying for Sex


There are two British studies that suggest some interesting, if not troubling trends. One concludes that the number of men who pay for sex has doubled in the past decade. Another has a few facts to ponder:

1 out of 10 men, with an average age of 34, said they paid for sex.
50% said they had paid for sex while traveling abroad.
66% said they had paid for sex in the previous year.
25% said they had repeatedly used prostitutes
20% had a sexually transmitted disease.
46% said that they had a current partner when they paid for sex.

This was from a study of 2500 British men at a health clinic from October 2002 to February, 2004 and was published in 2006 in several journals. Currently, in Great Britain, there are more than 3900 escort/massage parlors that charge at least 50 pounds an hour or $100 in the US. Looking on Craig’s List under “erotic services” in most major cities, the ladies are charging per hour from 100 to 150 roses as some like to call it to supposedly bypass the law. Anyway you call it, that’s a lot of money for a few minutes of pleasure.

I know a gentleman that owns such a club and says well over two-thirds of his clientele are out-of-towners on business and mostly married. I am not a sex therapist or a frequent visitor to one of these places. I just like to write articles that make one think and I enjoy studying the human condition. If you, however, do pay for sex, I would like to know a few things about you.

I imagine you have your reasons. Assuming you are either married or have girl friend, purchasing the offerings of a prostitute must; (a) fulfill a fantasy, (b) substitute for something you are not getting at home, (c) give you a cheap thrill, (d) allow you control, (e) be something you can obviously afford, (f) be something you would rather keep private. Therefore, I doubt if you would admit this to your friends and relatives. That’s why sex surveys are hard to come by. My brothel-owner friend was happy to tell me all about the people that frequented his establishment. They covered the spectrum and were wealthy, poor, young, old, famous, and frightened. But they all had one thing in common; the need for anonymous, emotionless sex.

Craig’s List ads have pictures of gorgeous models and you can believe them or not. Some look like they are barely 18, which they must be, although technically all women advertising for sex are breaking the law. But it’s a petty offense and there are not nearly enough police to enforce it. In the US, Nevada has it legalized. In Europe there is Amsterdam, legalized in 2000 and Germany in 2003. It’s also legal in Greece and Turkey and Denmark as long as there is a regular medical exam. Brazil and Canada do not prohibit acts of prostitution as long as it is not conducted in a brothel environment. So I guess you can do it outside or in the car. I’m not making light of it, but the idea of paying for sex is, ironically, as old as the Bible. And we are no better off trying to stamp it out than eliminating drugs. People think they need it and many are willing to provide it. There was even a Broadway play made about it: The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas. You can’t get much more mainstream than that.

I’m neither a moralist or a religious fanatic. But being a fairly normal male in my fifties, I can’t imagine paying for sex. If I have a loving relationship with my wife or girl friend, we should be having great sex. It depends on good communication and affection. If I had no partner at all, I could always practice masturbation. It’s free, always available, disease-free, and private. There are even great toys, dolls, and devices if the need is there.

Now, at the risk of alienating all those nice woman under “erotic services,” I’ll bet none of them read online articles. So who will I offend with my next statement? I say that a whore is a whore, is a whore. I’ve even met a few and they are probably amazing in their own way. But I could never imagine being with a woman who, an hour before, was with someone else. And besides, they could care less about me and just want my money. The quicker it’s over with, the better. Luckily for them, most men only take a few minutes anyway.

So, in summary, what’s the bottom line? It’s all about the bottom line, of course. If you can afford $150 an hour for something that actually takes 5 minutes, then good luck to you and your expensive habit. Although I have a news flash for you. Do the math and that equates to paying out $1800 an hour. Even most high-priced attorneys don’t charge that much. Of course with them, you never truly realize that you’re being screwed.

It’s interesting to note that vr porn of all orientations is becoming more and more accessible. VRLaid (one of the most popular vr porn tubes out there) reported that vr gay porn is one of the most searched categories on their platform.

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Newcomers Guide to Day Spa Etiquette!

As is true in many other places, a day spa requires proper etiquette to allow all clients to relax and take a welcome break from their usual routines. The last thing anyone would want at a day spa is distractions. On your next visit to a day spa, here is a list of proper etiquette guidelines that you should observe. It will help make your visit a worthwhile experience for you and for everyone else.

Arrive on Time for Your Appointment

Day spas almost always book appointments in order to avoid keeping clients waiting for an extended period of time. If you have set an appointment for your therapy, be punctual. Arrive on time so as not to delay the scheduled service to clients who will arrive after you for treatment. Come 15 to 20 minutes ahead of your appointment so that you will have adequate time to sit and relax before the session begins.

Turn off Your Cell Phone and Converse Quietly

One of the things a spa is known for is serene ambiance and soft music. This helps set a mood of relaxation for their guests. As much as possible, stay in tune with the serenity of the atmosphere by keeping your voice low when conversing and setting your cell phone on mute so as to not bother other guests who are enjoying the peace and quiet of the spa.

Let Any Particular Preferences be Known

If you are particular about the gender of your masseuse, let that preference be known ahead of time, preferably when you make your appointment. Though most spas primarily have women therapists, there are some spas that also employ men in this role. Since the latter is certainly the exception to the rule, if that is what you prefer, don’t forget to inform the spa when you book for a treatment since there are not many male therapists available at all times.

Underwear vs. None-derwear

Once at the spa, you are normally requested to change into something more comfortable such as a robe and slippers. It is always your choice as to whether or not you keep on your undergarments. Normally, you wear nothing else except for panties under the robe so that the therapist can massage your body thoroughly. Your body is always draped except for the specific area being treated. If you will not be comfortable unless you retain all of your underwear, let that fact be known so that you can discuss this and come to a mutual agreement.

Retain Your Modesty

The flip side of that coin is that while you are waiting in the lounge area for your massage therapist, be considerate of the other guests by making sure that your body isn’t overly exposed.

If Not Comfortable, Let That be Known

As soon as you are ready, you will be escorted into the therapy room and given a moment to remove your robe and climb onto the treatment table under the draping sheets. The therapist will normally ask if you are comfortable. This is your time to indicate if anything at all in the current arrangement is or makes you feel uncomfortable. Since the primary goal of massage therapy is to relax you, it would certainly be counterproductive to be uncomfortable in any way before you even begin the procedure.

Relax and Enjoy

During the massage, lie still on your chest, relax and enjoy the procedure. If you feel uncomfortable with anything such as the pressure of the massage, the lighting or the music, feel free to inform your therapist so that any necessary adjustments can be made. If you feel as if you are not being treated properly, it is certainly reasonable to request another therapist.

Leave a Tip

The final suggestion is to remember to leave a tip for your massage therapist. This is one way to express your satisfaction with the service. The normal amount of the gratuity is at least 15%-20% of the basic amount you paid for the session. Frequently an envelope is provided for your use when the therapist leaves the room after your treatment or you can leave the tip with the person who is closing out your entire bill.

Now that you know what to expect, you can come to your time of spa treatment relaxed and properly prepared for this wonderful pampering of yourself. Let the moment embrace you and leave you renewed and revitalized!

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De-Stressing Fibromyalgia

I was fortunate enough to receive a gift certificate for a massage at a nearby spa for my birthday from my daughter. Actually, the gift certificate was enough for almost three massages.

I was very apprehensive in scheduling my appointment, because I’m a very private person and the fact that I have fibromyalgia and the mere thought of someone rubbing on my muscles didn’t appeal to me what so ever.

My appointment day had finally arrived. I went to the receptionist and checked in..(I was secretly hoping that they had forgotten to write my appointment down so that I wouldn’t have to go through with this). A young lady came out and escorted me through double doors. When I walked through the double doors, I was met with dimmed lights, soft music and the sound of ocean waves. The room smelled of a combination of lavender and whatever that calming scent was. Voices were whispering softly. I was gently asked if I would like a beverage and was then led to where I would change into a robe and sanitized flip flops. I was feeling very vulnerable and naked, but as I sat and waited for the massage therapist, I sipped on my water and relaxed on the plush couch with my feet up.

The massage therapist came out and introduced herself as Jen, shook my hand and led me into another room. She proceeded to ask me questions about how I felt, how much pain I was experiencing, what my stress level was and assured me that she had worked on other clients with fibromyalgia and arthritis, so she was well aware of my reluctance.

She left the room while I removed my robe and hoisted myself up on my stomach on to this narrow massage table. She re-entered the room and covered me up with warm blankets and a heating pad, put something under my legs to boost them up and proceeded to rub a lavender scented oil on my neck and back, while I released the stress and listened to the soft music and ocean waves in the background.

She gently massaged my back and lower back and worked her way up to my neck and shoulders. She worked on the tiny knots that had taken up residence in my neck area. She rubbed, stretched and kneaded that area, pausing every now and then to ask if the pressure was too much. It was very painful, but she recommended that I take deep breaths to get through the torture. The massage was supposed to be a 50 minute, full body massage, but she spent the entire 50 minutes on my neck, shoulders and back.

When we were through, she advised me to drink lots of water to rid the toxins from my body. She also advised me to make a massage part of my routine about every two or three weeks and adding more water to my diet would relieve the stress on my muscles.

I have to say that the days after my massage were more relaxed. My neck moves with more flexibility and range of motion. My muscles don’t feel as stressed and stiff as normal and I am experiencing less pain.

If fibromyalgia has claimed your body, there are things you can do to relieve the pain, increase mental clarity, have a more positive outlook and improve overall body functions.

Drink lots of water… 8-10 glasses of water every day
Eat fruits and vegetables… stay away from processed foods.
Exercise..a little bit goes a long ways.
Get a massage… once a month or more if you can.

The benefits of a massage are endless, they are not just for the rich and famous. Massage benefits the entire body, mind and spirit. I made another appointment in three weeks and I can’t wait.

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Oasis Spas Chiang Mai-Review

The Oasis Spas are well known and well established in Chiang Mai and other parts of Thailand. They have two facilities in Chiang Mai, as well as locations in Bangkok, Pattaya, and Phuket. I reviewed their services here in Chiang Mai on July 19, 2010.

I went to the Oasis location near Wat Phra Sing though both locations are equally appealing. Oasis is currently running a promotion, you receive an additional one hour mangosteen body scrub with any two hour signature massage.

The facility is immaculate, with a traditional Lanna style. The reception area is roomy and welcoming with more than adequate staffing. All of the staff seems very well trained and professional.

The spa menu is complete with a variety of massages and treatments including Ayurveda, Thai massage, stone massage, scrubs, wraps, and more. My choice was a two hour hot oil massage preceded by a one hour mangosteen scrub.

A hostess escorted me into a very pleasant garden where I met my therapist, Koy. Koy said that she had been working with Oasis for the past three years. Koy took me to the separate building with a fairly large treatment room and adjacent shower and toilet area. The treatment room was well done with traditional Lanna style furniture and decor. The teak hardwood floors added to the very positive energy of the space. The large shower and changing area has a ceiling that is partially open to the outside. I really like the feeling of being outside when I’m inside.

Koy did the Mangosteen scrub and massage very close to perfection. The mangosteen concoction was warm and it was applied with slow, slightly firm, relaxing strokes. The hostess had described the Hot Oil Massage as relaxing and soothing, and indeed it was. In a past review, I discussed the importance of presence on the part of a massage therapist. Koy had it in abundance. The warm oil was applied with long Swedish style strokes with light to medium depth. It was a deeply relaxing treatment from beginning to end. Sometimes people think that a massage needs to be deep to have therapeutic value. I would disagree, a massage that creates deep relaxation can be very healing. The fact is that all healing is self-healing, but we need to have the correct elements to allow it. Deep relaxation is one of the required elements. This treatment provided that.

The fees at Oasis would be considered moderate by most. This three hour treatment was 3178 THB which is a little less than $100 USD. They include a 10% service fee and 7% tax with that price.

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